I'm right with you there about the duplicity of power. The way of Jesus is powering under. The way of leadership is powering over. I can't unsee this now.
And thanks for such raw writing and giving us these beautiful prayers.
I just got good news that Im going to get to see my kids a little bit. When the judge granted my petition I could not wrap my brain around it. Its been over a year since I have seen them in person. Yet I have been overwhelmed with grief and need for acceptance that other relationships that I have somehow still been hoping in have proved closed doors. But over the years I have been finding my voice and belief in myself. I dont pray like I used to and even its hard to open my heart to joys or expanding. The collective grief of this year still is heavy. It seems love and joy expand. I grow so much and its so good to be here over the years in the speaking of truths into space and time. Thats what prayer is to me now. Its utterances of truth into the day. I voice for hours every day onto my private insta account. I have even started speaking on my public account sometime. God forever changed my view of prayer when all I could do was dance in the night to playlists of soul music and hope to agree with the lyrics, to say amen with motions into the night and sometimes others joined in to the welcome. Giving voice.
Much to think about, indeed. Appreciate you opening up these possibilities for prayer (or not), and for God. I love the expansiveness of it, and the honesty.
Thank you Marcie. I still gasping and sitting with the images of space and earth and diamonds as poetry from last week. ✨️ I find myself folding these two weeks together. I can't imagine a powerful God in empire terms - if I'm desperate I'll use the psalms as a prayer to remind myself of eons of struggle. I'm a crap prayer. I have a "heart basket" that holds prayers that sometimes bubble to the surface. I don't pray for the world leaders or people that revolt me, but I've been sitting with the peacemakers idea lately. If I find myself sitting next to a white supremacist I'll first check if I'm safe before I extend the hand of peace. If I find myself in front of police at the currently weekly vigils for Gaza & Lebanon, and I notice one is wearing a white supremacist badge I bow my head in a desperate prayer: that I'm called to be visible at a vigil rather than called to spit invective at that human. Thanks Marcie. 💖
Dorothee Soelle wrote about a powerless, vulnerable god in Theology for Skeptics. She wrote that god cannot be all-powerful, loving, and comprehensible. Many christian traditions portray a god who is powerful and comprehensible, but not loving (the most violent fundamentalists); or as powerful and loving but not comprehensible (more soft/reasonable fundamentalism that I belonged to for a while). But she argues for faith in a god who is loving and comprehensible, but powerless, which I think fits god you describe as awesome.
On a different note, early in motherhood I approached everything that felt too hard with prayer. Sometimes my 3 year old found my prayers comforting and would ask me to “pray longer.” But there were times when something felt too hard for her or she was scared, and I asked if she’d like me to pray, and she would say, “no, that doesn’t work.” It was so good for me to hear such plain spoken authenticity. She was asking me to add more tools to my toolbox, which, holy shit has been so essential and life changing. Now I rarely pray, and I send my prayers in a different direction, beneath or behind me, so I really identify with the poetry of your piece.
"I, however, can’t fathom a God who has the power to heal, to fix, or to solve, not using that power. Or even worse, waiting for me to ask them to step up. So my thought is maybe God is something better than power – beauty, wholeness, reason, love, meaning, completeness."
Love this and feel every word of it. Thank you, Marcie.
Thank you for sharing this!
Gosh that’s some honest writing. I have many questions too. I try not to be mad at what I was taught. And I’m looking for what I believe.
Me too.
I find so much abundance in your authenticity and your vulnerability. <3
Thank you for your vulnerability in this space.
Beautiful- and settling & unsettling at the same time
I'm right with you there about the duplicity of power. The way of Jesus is powering under. The way of leadership is powering over. I can't unsee this now.
And thanks for such raw writing and giving us these beautiful prayers.
🙏🏾
I just got good news that Im going to get to see my kids a little bit. When the judge granted my petition I could not wrap my brain around it. Its been over a year since I have seen them in person. Yet I have been overwhelmed with grief and need for acceptance that other relationships that I have somehow still been hoping in have proved closed doors. But over the years I have been finding my voice and belief in myself. I dont pray like I used to and even its hard to open my heart to joys or expanding. The collective grief of this year still is heavy. It seems love and joy expand. I grow so much and its so good to be here over the years in the speaking of truths into space and time. Thats what prayer is to me now. Its utterances of truth into the day. I voice for hours every day onto my private insta account. I have even started speaking on my public account sometime. God forever changed my view of prayer when all I could do was dance in the night to playlists of soul music and hope to agree with the lyrics, to say amen with motions into the night and sometimes others joined in to the welcome. Giving voice.
Dancing absolutely is prayer.
Much to think about, indeed. Appreciate you opening up these possibilities for prayer (or not), and for God. I love the expansiveness of it, and the honesty.
Thank you Marcie. I still gasping and sitting with the images of space and earth and diamonds as poetry from last week. ✨️ I find myself folding these two weeks together. I can't imagine a powerful God in empire terms - if I'm desperate I'll use the psalms as a prayer to remind myself of eons of struggle. I'm a crap prayer. I have a "heart basket" that holds prayers that sometimes bubble to the surface. I don't pray for the world leaders or people that revolt me, but I've been sitting with the peacemakers idea lately. If I find myself sitting next to a white supremacist I'll first check if I'm safe before I extend the hand of peace. If I find myself in front of police at the currently weekly vigils for Gaza & Lebanon, and I notice one is wearing a white supremacist badge I bow my head in a desperate prayer: that I'm called to be visible at a vigil rather than called to spit invective at that human. Thanks Marcie. 💖
I’m crap at prayer is one of the most honest statements I’ve ever read! Thank you!!!!
Dorothee Soelle wrote about a powerless, vulnerable god in Theology for Skeptics. She wrote that god cannot be all-powerful, loving, and comprehensible. Many christian traditions portray a god who is powerful and comprehensible, but not loving (the most violent fundamentalists); or as powerful and loving but not comprehensible (more soft/reasonable fundamentalism that I belonged to for a while). But she argues for faith in a god who is loving and comprehensible, but powerless, which I think fits god you describe as awesome.
On a different note, early in motherhood I approached everything that felt too hard with prayer. Sometimes my 3 year old found my prayers comforting and would ask me to “pray longer.” But there were times when something felt too hard for her or she was scared, and I asked if she’d like me to pray, and she would say, “no, that doesn’t work.” It was so good for me to hear such plain spoken authenticity. She was asking me to add more tools to my toolbox, which, holy shit has been so essential and life changing. Now I rarely pray, and I send my prayers in a different direction, beneath or behind me, so I really identify with the poetry of your piece.
I’ve not heard of Soelle. You got me curious about her work!
And I how I love your 3 year olds honesty. Wow!
I’ve not heard of Soelle. You got me curious about her work!
And I how I love your 3 year olds honesty. Wow!
"I, however, can’t fathom a God who has the power to heal, to fix, or to solve, not using that power. Or even worse, waiting for me to ask them to step up. So my thought is maybe God is something better than power – beauty, wholeness, reason, love, meaning, completeness."
Love this and feel every word of it. Thank you, Marcie.
🖤