Monthly Spiritual Practice

August 2022

Every first Wednesday of the month, instead of a study or lesson, I hope to present a practice. Find a quiet time and space to lean in. Light a candle, maybe. Take a deep inhale. Hold it for one heartbeat and then exhale and begin. This month, we practice: Naming Our Feelings.

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Without understanding how our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors work together, it’s almost impossible to find our way back to ourselves and each other.

—Brené Brown, Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience

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NAMING OUR FEELINGS

As we’ve moved through our latest Black Eyed Bible Stories series “In Jesus Name,” feelings have been stirred. It’s to be expected. Shining a light on the lingering racism in the American Church’s foundation, exposing it like black mold or asbestos, will always strike a nerve. This is true no matter if you’re a conservative, socialist, or progressive. Even if you’re not a churchgoer or “believer”, whenever someone scratches the surface of a sacred institution or ideology, your feelings get scraped too. This is to be expected. We live in a country corn-fed with religion. 

I think it’s important that we accurately name these stirred-up feelings. It’s particularly important for white people to pinpoint their feelings before they react with their feelings. 

I’m not saying people of color get to ignore their feelings, or worse, that our feelings don’t matter—not at all. But as the recipients of racism, we’re more aware of the source of our triggers. Because white people haven’t lived beneath the oppression of a racialized society, they’re less aware of the triggers and more inclined to lash out rather than to sit with, explore, and name their feelings. 

Often, white people will express (or comment on social media) very sincere but elusive feelings about racism. They use emojis as a scapegoat (cause that’s what we’ve all been trained to do). And all too often, unfortunately, they will use “white fragility” or “white tears” to dismiss those feelings. 

But we can do better. 

We are to love ourselves like we love God with our whole minds, hearts and souls. And to do that effectively, we have to know our whole selves, and that includes knowing, understanding and naming our feelings. 

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PRACTICE

To begin, here’s a video of Robin DiAngelou, author of White Fragility, and Ibram X Kendi, author of Stamped from the Beginning, talking about feelings – because at the end of the day, white fragility is about feelings. 

Please watch the video but then read the comments below the video. Way too many of the comments are harsh, critical, defensive, mean-spirited and accusatory. Why? Because the commenters’ were triggered and they shut off from their feelings. And when we shut off our feelings, we act without love for God, for our neighbor, or for ourselves. 

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Now, I want you to think about how you feel about the comments. But I want you to use the Feelings Wheel below to pinpoint your exact emotion (click here for a larger version of it). If a comment made you angry, find “angry" on the wheel and then find the specific emotion. Do this with at least three of the comments. Don’t react. Don’t log-in and comment back. Just name your feelings. 

Once you’ve named your feelings, chart their trajectory. What is the source? Is there a memory that triggered those emotions? Have you felt them before? 

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Next, let’s release those big and heavy feelings in a way that doesn’t dismiss your awareness of them but honors your mind, heart, and soul with the meditation below: 

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Lastly, there is no feeling bigger than God. So let’s use the following meditations to first name the Image of God and then return our minds, hearts and souls back to the Divine Spirit: 

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This is a communal practice. Please feel welcome to add your prayers, thoughts, questions or reflections in the comments below. 

Shalom.