A Drama-Free God
A Black Eyed Story
All of these beautiful photographs are by the wonderful, mind-blowing photographer Mikael Owunna’s series Anatomy of the Human. You can visit his website and purchase prints.
Please enjoy an audio reading of this essay.
Much Bigger… Grander, More Subtle, More Elegant… Even Greater Than We Dreamed…
Tell me if this is weird…
I’ve been applying the lessons I’ve learned from therapist and boundaries expert Nedra Tawwab to my relationship with God.
It felt weird to type that confession in black and white, but hear me out: if I am the bride and Jesus is the groom and our home (the Church) is the hands and feet of God, then shouldn’t healthy relationship practices be applied?
If I am of God, made in the image of God and the reflection of God, then isn’t the God within me also in need of healthy boundaries and solid therapy?
I don’t think God should get a pass on gaslighting. I don’t think God gets to be emotionally unavailable. If I’m to believe that in a healthy relationship one party doesn’t get to be right all the time, then why does God get to be?
In a recent Instagram post, Tawwab wrote:
A little secret from a therapist:
The silent treatment is a form of gaslighting. It is used as a way to control you. The intention is to teach you a lesson for presenting an issue, setting a boundary, or wanting something different. It’s harmful to your mental health and it diminishes trust in relationships.
Repeat after me:
The silent treatment is a form of punishment that is meant to harm. When someone gives me the silent treatment, I don’t have to accept bad behavior; I can speak up, refuse mistreatment or make known that it won’t become a pattern.
No matter what they tell you, it’s not too much to ask for a God who is present. We would never settle for less than this in any of our other connections. For me, this revelation begs the question: Is God capable of this?
The answer is twofold: No, the small god waiting on my prayers while simultaneously withholding “his” answers, is not. And, yes! The bigger, grander, more subtle, more elegant and even-greater-than-we-dreamed god can’t help but to be present, trailing star stuff as evidence.